What NOT To Do At A Wedding

I know from personal experience that spring/summer time means WEDDINGS! Since Garrett and I have been together (as adults) we have been invited to weddings, had our own wedding, and been in several weddings – most of them during the spring/summer. This summer is no exception –  my best friend is getting married in August! I’ve picked up a few tips on things you should definitely avoid because more than likely, it’s just not appropriate. Some of these things, nobody ever tells you, you just find out by seeing others doing it or actually making the mistake yourself. So to save everyone the trouble, I’ve compiled a list of 12 things you should NOT do at a wedding.

1. A long white dress. Probably the MOST important rule in the wedding book. No one wants to be the girl wearing a white maxi to a wedding – unless you’re the bride. You’d be surprised how many people I’ve actually seen do this or ask if they can wear white. Just don’t.

2. Pretty similar to rule #1 – White/Ivory/Cream Anything! I feel the need to remind everyone that these colors are still classified as WHITE. However, if it’s white but has a print of some kind on it, that’s acceptable.
3. Anything see-through. This is a wedding people, not your chance to look like Rihanna at the CFDA’s (but wouldn’t that be awesome!). Chances are the ceremony will be in a church (however, apart from my mom’s wedding when I was a kid, I haven’t been to a wedding that actually took place inside a building) and nakedness is not appropriate. There are old relatives around and they want to remember their granddaughter or grandsons wedding, not the shapes of your boobs. Not that there’s anything shameful about being naked. Just don’t do it at a wedding.
4. ANYTHING super low cut. If that v-cut is too cut too much (did that make sense?) then don’t wear it. That kind of goes along with being naked at a wedding….Not cool.
5. Flip Flops. If I’m being honest, they are my go to shoe (apart from not actually wearing shoes) but not at a wedding. In between trying to be the bride and Rihanna, you got lost along the way and reverted to simply wearing your beach attire. NOT OK.  Flip flops are the most casual of causal and potentially should only be allowed on the dance floor if the bride and groom have provided them for late night high heel relief.
6. Jeans…… You know those jeans that you wear on the weekends when you want to relax? Yeah, not really wedding appropriate. Those skinny jeans you save for dates and nights with the girls? Yeah, STILL NOT appropriate.
7. Denim of any kind, really. Especially your overalls. Yes, I have seen someone wear those to a wedding before. Save those for your next barn dance please.
8. A tiara. I’m not quite sure why we keep needing to explain this point. You are NOT the bride. You are NOT a beauty queen. You are NOT Rihanna – I’m sorry to keep reminding you.
9. Anything too showy or garish. You can probably work it out yourself but this means: animal prints, neon colors, bells and/or whistles. Stick to pastel colors or appropriate prints like floral. As much as we all hate to blend in – a wedding demands just a little sensitivity to the fact that you are (once again) not the bride and no one wants to look at you. Sorry if I sound mean but I’m being honest. You aren’t the girl in the big white dress – you better not be since I already went over rule #1 and rule #2 AND rules #3-8 already.
10. All over black. Okay, let me clarify. It’s actually okay to wear black to a wedding – it can look super chic and elegant if done CORRECTLY. Just be aware that people also wear black to funerals and you don’t want to look like you turned up at the wrong event. Try paring with colorful accessories and keep it flowy and free rather than sharp and smart.
11. T-Shirts with slogans. This isn’t 1999 anymore and no one cares that you have Girl Power, or that you like the Rolling Stones, OR that avocados are your whole world right now…please don’t because if you do….I will feel the need to make fun of you endlessly.
12. Clubbing shoes. Girls, don’t act like you don’t know which ones I’m referring too. Those shoes that make you look like a Kardashian sister. There is a big difference between shoes for a night out with your girls in a sleazy club where shots come on trays and the music is super loud, and shoes for your best friends wedding where you will probably dance to music by Frank Sinatra. So step away from the sequins, the platforms, and those 7-inch heels (which I would actually love to watch you attempt to walk in).